I'm just a crazy old woman some days and yep you guessed it this is one of'um. Thought I would share a big chunk of my heart and pictures of my son and his Bridage leaving Fort Carson. I was there in March and snow was on the ground then and I liked to have froze watching his Dad pin his new rank of Staff Sergeant (SSG). As you can tell I am really proud of him, he joined the Army after going back to school and getting his diploma (he had quit earlier cause of

his dad) He turned 18 right after that and joined, much to my broken heart. He is now 28, with a wife and 3 little children, a son and 2 girls. he says the Army is his home and he loves it a lot and that he owes the Army for making him what he is. Now how can I disagree with that. He believes in his Commander and his and his men's skills. This will be his second tour and he will be in the area of Balaad, (part of the horrible Triangle)


He is in a big old Bradley fighting vehicle and they are called the Fighting Eagles and lordy they can be loud, take my word for it He believes that each of you for which he serves, has the right to a voice, all he ever asks is give him and his fellow Soldiers the same respect. He believes very strongly in finishing the ones who have given the utmost sacrifice and those wounded.

So while his life will be rough this next year, think of the Soldiers away from loved ones and keep them in your heart and prayers. And by the way thanks for putting up with a crazy old woman.

While I stand on your shore
I hear the crashing waves call to me
I yearn for the beauty and strength you possess
Carry me with you as night falls
Let thy waters forever flow over me
While the mist lets me escape into the safety of your arms



Finished Art Work by © John Sparks

As I stand looking into your mist of darkness
Life returns by the shore for me
Once youthful and full of hope

Life was dreaming of Sailors and young Marines
For which the dance would begin
While another stood in the waning mist

Never capturing a heart from one
To last a lifetime of love
I moved onto another shore

Now years have passed and I look
To the shore once more
Where a world away lays a war

I call on your misty night and calming waters
To lift my heavy heart
Bring back those times of peace

Return those who have crossed your water
To another shore far from home
Bring them back to a shore of peace

© Art By John Sparks

poem by © Tobie

“Hey God” Can we talk ?

Chapter 13

I’m pulled here tonight, eyes swollen from my tears of fear and horror. Scared more than I have ever been, my arms reaching for the one true thing in my life and yes it is you God. I need you more tonight than ever before, I need for you to understand me and my fears. It seems in one way that I have no faith in you when these fears take root in my heart. Is that the evil working against you I ask? Is that the evil that has these manic people killing anyone they can and using your name to declare their justice and revenge?
I know that you will not place more than I can handle, but don’t you think my limit has been reached? Lordy I do. I know before when I faced all this you sent a special person to me to help get me through all these terrible times and I feel selfish and unworthy asking you to help me bear all this, when my son and other’s sons have a much greater need than I. Last night I realized some of what it takes for a man to face battle and God you know I would never measure up to half that much. Having to leave the ones who fill their lives with joy to a land far away, never knowing where or when danger will explode by them. Oh boy now that is courage that I can’t even imagine enduring and I ask myself, why then do I feel so weak and unbelieving. In the last few days you have been here and you’ve seen the tears and fear that I am so over filled with, why then can I not lay it aside and just put all my faith in you, knowing that you have the power to intercede when needed. Don’t go getting mad at me now, its not the time you know, I want to feel peace in my heart and I can’t. You got any ideas that might work? I know evil is here on earth by mans choosing of long ago, Lordly I sure wish they had made a better decision back then.
Can I ask you a huge favor please? Can you help end this war? Can you reach the hearts of those so filled with hate that want to harm others? Also may I ask you why they believe that twenty virgins will be waiting for them in heaven? What good is that? I really think that people of all faith can live peacefully on this great place you gave us if they would only try, but man I got to tell you my heart is Harding against many of them, it’s awfully hard to turn the other cheek long bout now. Yeah, that’s gonna get me a knuckle job huh? I’ll be here listing to you real close. I need to hear the soft whispers of you, brush my heart and soul, bringing that peace that only you can fill one with. Remember that I love you and again thank you for the good friends I have found, I bet you lead them to me huh? You knew I needed someone; it’s just so good to count on you God. The one true factor of my life, I’ll be talking to you soon ok? Till then watch over our Soldiers and know they love you and fight for the freedom to choose good over evil, so please lean on the enemy more.

I'm in a deep blue funk these days. I've just been trying to survive the over powering fear once again of my youngest son leaving for Iraq the first week of December. Tonight he calls and tells me he has good news to share with me ( he is going back to the same area of Iraq ) well let me tell you my heart dropped another level, its the Balaad area and no it is not a good area for any of our guys. Damn I hate this war, but yet I am so proud of him and those he serves with. All I seem to do is pray for the safety of all and try to remember the good times we have shared.
He had come home in August to go to Fort Benning for more intense training and came here every week-end when he could. He came to say goodbye a couple weeks ago on his way back to Fort Carson, he went out the door and left me one of his favorite Notre Dame caps to keep for his return, thats a special thing between me and him. It will be a long time before I see him again and I pray to God for grace and dignity to strengthen him and that God cover him with his all powerful shield of love, carry him when he finds things are to great to bear and protect all our soldiers there.
Thought I might share a picture he left with me, he was really enjoying his day.