Come Share My Campfire-Chapter- 5

The coolness of the night drifts slowly in, while the light of day drifts slowly into shadows of the coming darkness. Gathering wood for the fire to come, my minds sifts through days of a past that once held the darkness of my soul. For the first time in my life I feel free to look and see the good things that bound me to this day.
Come sit with me by the fire as I light it tonight, it will be a somber night as I feel stronger than I have been in years. With the huge Oak Trees covered in the whitish grey moss hanging gently and swaying with the soft breeze, I strike my match and watch it catch as I tuck it under the pile of dry sticks and such. Like magic the fire catches and the golden glow drifts and with the smell of the logs finally catching, I move my coffee pot over the coals and sit on the small piece of log I found off in the woods. There is room for a few friends if they show up tonight. Maybe they will sense I am here and join me and share the wonder of my newly discovered secrets.
I have spent so many years living in the shadows of someone else, never truly be accepted for just me, with this new freedom I am truly feeling my spirit soar and wonder where it will now lead me. I am anxious to find out but the mystery lures me in and halts suddenly, making me savor and relish this journey I have been on.
While starting the packing of things in Georgia, I just started tossing things that had meant so much to me and none of value. The smell from Dad’s old things and Mom’s now lay in the garbage dump somewhere and I feel relieved. I had spent years wondering why I clung to these things and often wondered why nothing of value was left for me, was it just the simple fact of my brothers greed and their dislike of me for leaving before either of my parents died. I had given my whole life to my parents, the only child to be there day in day out. I chose not to see the finish of their days on earth as I couldn’t bear that final pain. I had all the baggage and they had all the rewards of money and articles of value, but seems like now the joke is on them as I tossed more away. Things I wanted I packed and labeled in a small box in my heart, where now peace resides. I knew then I would never look back and that with each move I had made since losing all that I had in 97, I was cutting loose the cord that bound me like a slave when they were alive and I had let it bind and hold me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe and somewhere with each move I tossed more, till now what was left was only the good happy things, a few memento’s.
Most importantly I realized the freedom I had given myself on the drive down to Florida and entering in to my new home was happiness and newness, a fresh wiped slate, cleaned by the power I had suddenly felt. I had held it all along but with my depression and guilt I had smothered it and consequently suffered much despair over the last years since.
I can’t say that I won’t get serious depression again but I stand a much better chance with the realization of knowing where it came from and how to correct it. I can face life easier and with the help of God, I can now sleep better. I still have problems, but now they are mine, made of my own accord and with that fact tucked somewhere in my mind, I’m gonna curl here by this fire, drink my coffee, add some logs and sleep like a baby.