Monday, December 05, 2005

“Hey God” Can we talk ?

Chapter 13

I’m pulled here tonight, eyes swollen from my tears of fear and horror. Scared more than I have ever been, my arms reaching for the one true thing in my life and yes it is you God. I need you more tonight than ever before, I need for you to understand me and my fears. It seems in one way that I have no faith in you when these fears take root in my heart. Is that the evil working against you I ask? Is that the evil that has these manic people killing anyone they can and using your name to declare their justice and revenge?
I know that you will not place more than I can handle, but don’t you think my limit has been reached? Lordy I do. I know before when I faced all this you sent a special person to me to help get me through all these terrible times and I feel selfish and unworthy asking you to help me bear all this, when my son and other’s sons have a much greater need than I. Last night I realized some of what it takes for a man to face battle and God you know I would never measure up to half that much. Having to leave the ones who fill their lives with joy to a land far away, never knowing where or when danger will explode by them. Oh boy now that is courage that I can’t even imagine enduring and I ask myself, why then do I feel so weak and unbelieving. In the last few days you have been here and you’ve seen the tears and fear that I am so over filled with, why then can I not lay it aside and just put all my faith in you, knowing that you have the power to intercede when needed. Don’t go getting mad at me now, its not the time you know, I want to feel peace in my heart and I can’t. You got any ideas that might work? I know evil is here on earth by mans choosing of long ago, Lordly I sure wish they had made a better decision back then.
Can I ask you a huge favor please? Can you help end this war? Can you reach the hearts of those so filled with hate that want to harm others? Also may I ask you why they believe that twenty virgins will be waiting for them in heaven? What good is that? I really think that people of all faith can live peacefully on this great place you gave us if they would only try, but man I got to tell you my heart is Harding against many of them, it’s awfully hard to turn the other cheek long bout now. Yeah, that’s gonna get me a knuckle job huh? I’ll be here listing to you real close. I need to hear the soft whispers of you, brush my heart and soul, bringing that peace that only you can fill one with. Remember that I love you and again thank you for the good friends I have found, I bet you lead them to me huh? You knew I needed someone; it’s just so good to count on you God. The one true factor of my life, I’ll be talking to you soon ok? Till then watch over our Soldiers and know they love you and fight for the freedom to choose good over evil, so please lean on the enemy more.

3 comments:

Carolyn said...

I'm praying with you Tobie. I'm praying with you :)

From My Pen said...

Thank you Carolyn, I know you are and from the bottom of my heart, thank you. :)

Rhiannon said...

Though I still have no understanding of why we are at war in Iraq and stil don't, reading this post you wrote, I admire your son's courage, and also admire that he has such a totally loving and dedicated mother who loves her son with all her heart and soul. I got tears in my eyes when I read your post. My heart goes out to you tenfold..and I hope for your son's and all the soldiers safe return home. May protection and light be all around your son, and also the heartfelt knowledge of feeling his mothers love all around him..

WIth Blessings,

Rhiannon